Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
