oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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