Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
