The maid of honor just puked.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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