:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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