Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
