He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
