i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
