I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
