your room smells of hookers.
And success
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
