So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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