Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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