at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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