This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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