Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
