I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
