my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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