her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
