Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
