Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
