i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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