dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
