I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no you cant smoke seaweed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
