I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
