at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
