The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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