this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
