while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
