? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
