it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
