whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.