It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
handjob tips. give me some.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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