a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
