I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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