i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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