I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
