And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
