Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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