so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
