Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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