When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
