a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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