she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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