so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
