I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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