Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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