I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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