I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
