no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
