Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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