I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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