I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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