he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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