You're completely useless in the revolution.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
