Do you still have your period?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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