you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
