I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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