Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
