i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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