I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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