suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
