I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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