Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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