I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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