Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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