Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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