well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize